(just like your mom used to make)
2024-04-10
I am Evans Hawthorne Winner, a 51-year-old (born 1972), lowly IT worker living in Evergreen, Colorado. (Drop me a line if you know where I can get analytical work – data, operations, process, whatever. I am evans dot winner at Google’s famous email domain.)
I used to be a casual rock climber in Boulder, later a casual scuba diver in Seattle; I studied music composition fairly seriously at university in Boulder for several years; later studied literature and philosophy in New Mexico where, after twenty-something odd years of courses at many schools, I finally graduated summa – because they only counted their own courses in the GPA. Ha! Take that, high-school guidance councilors! (That’s a pathetic humble-brag, I know, but please give me this. It’s all I’ve got.)
I have the somewhat ambitiously named “portfolio” of miscellaneous nerdy things I’ve done; a boring resume, the obligatory GitHub page, a LinkedIn, and heck, even a vCard. Additionally, I’ve links to some writing (and maybe soon other things) that I did before I became a family guy with a mortgage and all that.
My wife, Kim, is way more interesting than me. She is a computational biologist turned data curator and R hacker. My son, Taavi, is also way more interesting than me. He is ten years old and likes paleontology and Minecraft.
Here follows a ’blog in the old sense of the term: in something like chronological order, some of the miscellaneous wreckage I have strewn across the Internet over the years. I link to the content instead of include it here inline except where it is only a few lines long as in the case of some short poems, aphorisms, and especially one-liners. Links are HTTP(S) to HTML pages unless obviously otherwise. The quality ranges from bad to not so bad. Sue me. This is not a historical record, so I edit freely where I want to. Also, the dates are sometimes estimated, and in the cases of some very old things, the dates reflect when the thing was created, not the first time (later) that it was posted on the Internet.
Most (but not all) comes from: my old evanswinner.com homepage, now defunct; my less old but still fairly old evanswinner.com 2.0 page; timbral.net; my account on “X” (née Twitter); my other account on Twitter; my personal Facebook posts; my old Posterous blog, Usenet posts; Reddit junk, abortive Blogger blog (which now requires a login just to read, so nuts to that) blog, LiveJournal blog – and other stuff that I’m probably forgetting.
Besides the one-liners, it’s mostly some nerdy tech stuff from a curmudgeonly perspective, and essays on philosophy and the arts from a frankly Randian perspective.
I am just starting this, so it is, as we used to say on Web 1.0, “Under construction.”
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2024-04-11: Twitter
[LINK] [FULL TEXT BELOW]
"At the end of every chain of
causal reasoning stands a smiling
gremlin -- smiling or leering,
depending entirely upon our own
temperament."
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2023-09-07: Twitter
[LINK] [FULL TEXT BELOW]
"The word "statistics," in its use
naming a science, is no more a
plural merely because it ends in
's' than is the word 'mathe-
matics.'"
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2023-02-09: Twitter
[LINK] [FULL TEXT BELOW]
"It may be that the main job of
the 21st century is to learn to
understand the 20th."
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2023-01-13: Twitter
[LINK] [FULL TEXT BELOW]
"A new informal fallacy seen part-
icularly on Twitter: Argumentum
ex multis sectatoribus -- argu-
ment from number of followers."
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2023-01-13: Twitter
[LINK] [FULL TEXT BELOW]
"If your side of the issue is
having to constantly invent new
words and slogans for what amount
to the same ideas, then your side
almost certainly doesn't have
reality on its side. Bad ideas
flourish though the constant re-
juvenation of the fuzzy language
that carries them."
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2022-11-24: Facebook post
[ORIG] [FULL TEXT BELOW]
"Ah, Thanksgiving. That time when
families come together and take
Covid tests."
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2022-11-08: Twitter
[LINK] [FULL TEXT BELOW]
"Voting is win-win. If the person
you voted for wins, then "yay! --
we won!"; and if they lose, then
you don't have to feel partly
responsible for all the idiotic
shit they were going to do when
in office."
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2022-10-26: Twitter
[LINK] [FULL TEXT BELOW]
"Whenever I finally really figure
out exactly how and why I have
screwed something up terribly in
life I find that if I scan my
past hard enough I will find that
at least someone, somewhere, at
some point in time, gave me the
advice I needed -- and I didn't
listen."
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2022-08-19: Twitter
[LINK] [FULL TEXT BELOW]
"Twitter only provides a heart for
reacting to a tweet. They need to
provide more variety. An eye-
roll, at the very least."
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2022-07-29: Twitter
[LINK] [FULL TEXT BELOW]
"I find it difficult to respect
anybody who ever uses the 'hist-
orical present' tense."
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2022-06-24: Facebook post
[ORIG] [FULL TEXT BELOW]
"Except for the coughing, COVID
has been the best vacation I've
had in 15 years."
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2022-06-17: Facebook post
[ORIG] [FULL TEXT BELOW]
"50 is the new 49."
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2022-05-21: Facebook post
[ORIG] [FULL TEXT BELOW]
"I think we all owe Johnny Depp
and Amber Heard our sincere
thanks for distracting us from
having to keep watching the drama
with Will Smith slapping Chris
Rock; and I think we owe Chris
and Will our thanks for keeping
us from having to keep thinking
about people dying in Ukraine;
and we really should thank Vlad
for helping to distract us from
that global pandemic. Oh, and
thanks, China, for taking our
minds off African civil wars,
Chinese internment camps,
oppression in Russia, Islamic
totalitarianism and the apo-
theosis of over a century and a
half of creeping government over-
reach and the steady loss of re-
spect for reason and individual
rights in the US."
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2022-05-12: Facebook post
[ORIG] [FULL TEXT BELOW]
"I met the Buddha on the road
today.
My lawyer has advised me not to
say anything more."
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2022-05-11: Facebook post
[ORIG] [FULL TEXT BELOW]
"For financial reasons, the mon-
astery was opened to visitors for
a week during May. A monk was
approached by a young tourist
who mockingly called out, 'Hey
Buddha-dude! What is the sound of
one hand clapping?'
The monk swiftly extended his
hand and slapped him across the
face with a loud thwack -- where-
upon the tourist was enlight-
ened."
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2022-05-11: Facebook post
[ORIG] [FULL TEXT BELOW]
"The Tao that can be sensed is not
the senseless Tao."
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2022-03-24: Facebook post
[ORIG] [FULL TEXT BELOW]
"It's 7pm and Kim accuses me of
day-drinking. Just another reason
to hate daylight saving time."
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2022-03-11: Facebook post
[ORIG] [FULL TEXT BELOW]
"My son just announced that he is
lasagna-intolerant."
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2021-08-23: Twitter
[LINK] [FULL TEXT BELOW]
"I find it difficult to take
seriously anyone who ever uses
the word 'societal.'"
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2021-08-13: Twitter
[LINK] [FULL TEXT BELOW]
"The Afghan debacle: from which I
conclude that G. Bush either
never played Risk or never saw
Princess Bride. But why is every-
one else acting so surprised?"
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2021-05-07: Twitter
[LINK] [FULL TEXT BELOW]
"Collaboration doesn't come from
herding people into cubicle farms
or making them use Slack. It
comes from an attitude of help-
fulness and from shared goals. If
you have that, you don’t need
Slack. If you don’t, that’s the
reason people think your IT de-
partment is a cost center."
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2021-03-13: Code (Github (Gist))
[LINK]
fake_acpi.ps1
Powershell function to tell me my
laptop's battery status at the
command line.
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2021-03-12: Code (Github (Gist))
[LINK]
banish.cs
Tiny c# program to banish the
mouse. Inspired by the function in
stumpwm. Replaced the one from
2016 when I couldn't use Autohot-
key at work anymore.
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2021-02-17: Code (Github (Gist))
[LINK]
pwgen.py
I suppose that everyone has to
write a little program to generate
quasi-random passwords at some
point in life.
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2021-02-09: Code (Github (Gist))
[LINK]
floating_message.py
Written in about five minutes to
amuse my seven-year-old son.
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2021-01-19: Code (Github (Gist))
[LINK]
wsrch.bat
Google search from the command
line on Windows. Doesn't like non-
alphanumeric characters, but still
basically works.
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2020-07-17: Twitter
[LINK] [FULL TEXT BELOW]
"I asked the expert system if a
dog possesses the Buddha-nature.
It said 'Null pointer
exception.'"
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2020-06-01: Twitter
[LINK] [FULL TEXT BELOW]
"A civilization that had worked
for generations against in-
dividual rights, attempts to solve
every problem caused by collect-
ivism with--more collectivism,
can't expect a police force that
respects individual rights. In
the long run a civilization gets
the police force it deserves."
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2019-08-06: Twitter
[LINK] [FULL TEXT BELOW]
"You might be able to get away
with one of the following --
1. Hire idiots to work the front
line at your company
2. Promote from within
-- but not both."
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2019-07-12: Code (Github (Gist))
[LINK]
auction.py
Little auction simulator in Simpy
for eBay auctions. I don't really
remember what I was trying to
figure out, but there it is.
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2018-11-24: Twitter
[LINK] [FULL TEXT BELOW]
"Good enough always is.
By definition."
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2018-11-18: Facebook post
[ORIG] [FULL TEXT BELOW]
"Dishes are tools. If they can't
suffer being roughly thrown into
a sink with other dishes, washed
in a dishwasher, or heated in a
microwave, then -- they're crap!"
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2018-08-19: Twitter
[LINK] [FULL TEXT BELOW]
"
-- Me: Alexa, have you ever
taken the Turning Test?
-- Alexa: I don't need to pass
that. I'm not pre-
tending to be human.
Can't argue with that.
"
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2018-04-17: Twitter
[LINK] [FULL TEXT BELOW]
"Working is a virtue; working hard
is a virtue; working stupidly and
inefficiently so you can say you
worked hard -- is a vice."
┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┛
┏━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┓
2018-04-04: Article (LinkedIn)
[LINK]
DEMANDING SATISFACTION
IN EMACS LISP
A blurb and code for a drop-in
replacement for Emacs' `require`
function that requires a library,
or failing that, installs the
package and then requires it.
┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┛
┏━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┓
2018-03-31: Article (LinkedIn)
[LINK]
NUMBER CHUNKING
WITH CHUNKY NUMBERS
A slightly bizarre meditation on
the orthography of "number
chunking."
┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┛
┏━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┓
2018-03-23: Article (LinkedIn)
[LINK]
TALLY SYSTEMS FOR HAND
COLLECTION OF COUNT DATA
A novel system of making tally
counts.
┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┛
┏━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┓
2018-03-23: Article (LinkedIn)
[LINK]
USING SPLIT-SCREEN MODE IN ANDROID
NUGAT FOR EASIER DATA ENTRY
A blurb about how to do that.
┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┛
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2017-09-05: Twitter
[LINK] [FULL TEXT BELOW]
"Fifty bucks says if North Korea
launches a nuke at the West Coast
it will explode on the pad, fail
to detonate, or fall into the
ocean."
┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┛
┏━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┓
2017-06-19: Facebook
[LINK] [FULL TEXT BELOW]
"A monk came to master Chow and
said, 'Sometimes when we count
mantras, I mix up the numbers
three and eight. How can I re-
member the difference?' — Master
Chow replied, 'Would you prefer
to lose three toes or eight?' —
The monk said, 'Three, of
course.' Master Chow drew a blade
and cut off eight of the monk’s
toes, whereupon the monk was en-
lightened."
┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┛
┏━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┓
2017-04-03: Facebook
[LINK] [FULL TEXT BELOW]
"In the data center, no one can
hear you fart."
┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┛
┏━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┓
2017-02-24: Facebook
[LINK] [FULL TEXT BELOW]
"I've been saying it for years--or
I would have if I had thought of
it."
┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┛
┏━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┓
2017-02-15: Facebook
[LINK] [FULL TEXT BELOW]
"Well, it was a good run there for
a couple hundred years, but I
think it's probably time we
handed it all back to the crown
and see if she can straighten
things out."
┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┛
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2017-02-09: Facebook
[LINK] [FULL TEXT BELOW]
"Politics hasn't been this enter-
taining since the Jacobite Re-
bellion."
┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┛
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2017-02-02: Facebook "Meme" image
[LINK]
From when D. Trump was elected.
C.f. "#NotMyPresident."
┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┛
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2017-02-01: Facebook "Meme" image
[LINK]
Another from when D. Trump was
elected. C.f. "#NotMyPresident."
Includes obligatory typo.
┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┛
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2016-12-16: Twitter
[LINK] [FULL TEXT BELOW]
"The Statistician's Fallacy: '50%
of humans have a penis; your mom
is human; therefore there is a
50% chance that your mom has a
penis.'"
┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┛
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2016-12-12: Facebook post
[LINK]
"Of all forms of time-wasting,
writing time management software
is most sublime."
┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┛
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2016-10-11: Code (Github (Gist))
[LINK]
refresh-notes.ahk
Automatically refresh shared
inboxen in Lotus Notes using Auto
Hot Key.
┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┛
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2016-10-11: Code (Github (Gist))
[LINK]
banish.ahk
Banish the mouse pointer to the
corner of the screen. Inspired by
the function of the same name from
stumpwm. One line of Autohotkey.
┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┛
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2016-06-13: Article (LinkedIn)
[LINK]
WHY YOUR SYSTEMS
PEOPLE NEED A SANDBOX
If you want people to learn, you
have to give them a low-stakes en-
vironment in which to make mis-
takes.
┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┛
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2015-08-19: Twitter
[LINK] [FULL TEXT BELOW]
"When they write the art history
of the early 21st century, it
will be the computer-animated
films of Pixar and Dreamworks
that are remembered."
┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┛
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2013-09-22: Article
(orig. Timbral.net)
[LINK] [TEXT]
HELPING PAPA GUMP FIND A
NAME FOR HIS SON WITH COMMON LISP
Using the Alexandria permutations
function for a silly purpose.
┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┛
┏━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┓
2012-09-28: Article (orig. Blogger)
[ORIG] [LOCAL] [TEXT]
ONE SPACE OR TWO
On the use of one or two spaces
between sentences. Serious ana-
lytical overkill.
┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┛
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2012-09-25: Article (Blogger)
[LINK]
CARTOUCHE LINKS WITH CSS
Make html links that are like old
Egyptian cartouches. Why not?
Probably requires a Blogger
account to read now, unfor-
tunately.
┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┛
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2011-05-20: Article
(orig. Timbral.net)
[LINK [TEXT]
LOAD A DIRECTORY
OF EMACS LISP FILES
Load a whole directory of Emacs
Lisp files all at once -- sort of
like the title says.
┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┛
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2011-05-14: Article / Code
(Blogger / Github)
Article: [ORIG] [LOCAL] [TEXT]
Code: [LINK]
TODOSTACK.EL
An Emacs to-do list as a stack for
when you get interrupted con-
stantly. The idea was stolen from
someone else, and has since been
re-stolen countless times. I act-
ually used it at work for a while.
┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┛
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2010-08-10: Twitter
[ORIG] [FULL TEXT BELOW]
"If the only tool you have is a
computer, you tend to see every
problem as computable."
┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┛
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2010-05-28 Twitter
[ORIG] [FULL TEXT BELOW]
"When a man needs a hairbrush,
he's got bigger problems than
needing a hairbrush."
┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┛
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2009-02-07: Twitter
[ORIG] [FULL TEXT BELOW]
"There are two kinds of sysadmins:
those who are overworked, and
those who hang out on alt.sys-
admin.recovery pretending they
are overworked."
┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┛
┏━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┓
2008-01-08: Usenet
(humanities.philosophy.
objectivism)
[ORIG] [LOCAL] [TEXT]
Opinion re: Should HPO be Closed
Down.
┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┛
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2007-06-01: Code (EmacsWiki)
[LINK]
REP-WORDS.EL
Emacs library to find repeat
words in a text that repetitively
repeat too much. (Under my old
nom de code "Theron Tlax.")
┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┛
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2007-03-16i Code (EmacsWiki)
[LINK]
TWIT.EL
What was, I think, the second
Twitter client for Emacs. I only
wrote the first versions (under
the nom de code "Theron Tlax").
┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┛
┏━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┓
2007-01-19: Code
[LINK] (gnu.emacs.sources)
CTRL-LANG.EL
Font lock and doc lookup Emacs
mode for AS/400 (aka. iSeries,
aka IBM i) Control Language files.
┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┛
┏━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┓
2006-01-30: Article (LiveJournal)
[ORIG] [LOCAL] [TEXT]
MUSIC FOR TOY PIANO
Review of Margeret Leng Tan's toy
piano recital in Seattle.
┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┛
┏━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┓
2006-01-22: Article (LiveJournal)
[ORIG] [LOCAL] [TEXT]
FELTSMAN PRAISED
DESPITE IRRITABLE REVIEWER
Review of Vladimir Feltsman at the
Amadeus! Mozart Festival in
Seattle.
┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┛
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2005-12-28: Article (LiveJournal)
[ORIG] [LOCAL] [TEXT]
STEAL THIS CD
Brief thoughts after a CD of music
by Morton Feldmen was evidently
stolen from a Barnes & Noble.
┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┛
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2004-12-09: Article (LiveJournal)
[ORIG] [LOCAL] [TEXT]
BAD KITTY-CAT!
GARFIELD: THE MOVIE [spoilers]
A movie review.
┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┛
┏━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┓
2004-06-07: Article (LiveJournal)
[ORIG] [LOCAL] [TEXT]
A TALE OF TWO CONDUCTORS
Written for a conducting class.
Comparison between two styles
of conducting.
┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┛
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2003-06-08: Comment (Usenet)
(rec.scuba)
[LOCAL] [TEXT]
A comment about snorkels. I don't
link here to the original because
it is riddled with embarrassing
spelling and other gaffs.
┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┛
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2002: Poem
[WAYBACK MACHINE] [LOCAL] [TEXT]
In Ouray
Published 2002, Licton Springs
Review.
┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┛